Naaw mai? (หนาวไหม)

I've been getting this question quite frequently in the past week or so in Bangkok... roughly translates to, "is it/are you cold?" My response is "naaw maak" (very cold!). Usually this time of year, it would be, "roon mai?" (i.e., is it hot? ร้อนไหม) because it's supposed to be the hot season (or the hottest season). But this year, the weather is not normal, especially with the "mango rains" (fon tok mai? ฝนตกไหม) happening in February and March, and un-Thailand-ishly cold weather in the past week. Yes, I know those of you in the NE US think I'm a baby when I complain about the cold weather here, but when you're used to temperatures ranging from 80-100+ F (26-37+ C), getting into the 60s (19C) is frigid. Even the soi dogs have put on their warm clothing!

See? Cold!

Elsewhere in Thailand, there has been some pretty terrible flooding. Last year, there was extensive flooding in the north and central parts; this year, many parts of southern Thailand are underwater.

Drinking straws

Plastic bag drinks...
all the rage

Drinking straws? Why, you might be asking, would Katie be writing about drinking straws? Ah, my friend, welcome to Thailand, the Land of Smiles and the Land of Drinking Straws (maybe related?).

When I first came to Thailand, I was confused when, every time I purchased a cool drink, the vendor would give me a straw. Now, yes, when you're drinking out of a plastic bag, straws are handy... or when you're sick... or when you smushed up the right side of your face in a freak accident... but under normal circumstances, I probably could have counted on one hand how many times I'd used a straw.

But, for some reason, they really like straws in Thailand. Rather then letting all those straws sit abandoned in my kitchen drawer, I started using them... and realized how handy they are. After a while, I got used to them. And, now, I'm addicted. I use a straw almost all the time. And, when I don't get a straw, I tend to stare at my drink, wondering how I'm supposed to consume it.

(How I feel without a straw)

(I just really like pigs!)

McGuire ears

If you've got McGuire ears, I think you tend to become exhausted in countries where they speak a language you don't understand.

My brain, on languages

McGuire ears, for those of you not from my mom's side of the family, are a genetic blessing passed down from generation to generation, allowing their bearer to listen to, follow, and respond to multiple conversations at the same time. They originate from my maternal grandmother and her sisters. They do not allow just simple multitasking. They are a gift that only the chosen can truly appreciate. Unfortunately, this blessing backfires in countries where you don't speak the language. It becomes a constant struggle to understand what people are saying when they are speaking to you, becoming hopelessly futile when trying to eavesdrop on others' conversations. Your ears, double-edged swords that they are, now provide way too much information for your brain to observe, let alone understand. A battle rages in your head, with no winner and shear exhaustion on all sides.

I think it might be even harder with languages you understand a little - for me, French, Krio, and now, Thai. In these languages, I can feel my ears and brain lighting up every time I hear a word I may understand. When I first arrived in Thailand, I understood few words: lucky for my brain (and unlucky for my cultural assimilation). I understood hello (sawatdee ka), thank you (khab kun ka), yes (chai), two (song), small road (soi), road/street (thanon), fish (bplaa), foreigner (farang), and the next station is (sa-thaa-nee dtoo pbai). Now, I understand quite a bit more... but that only makes it harder for my poor ears and brain to keep up! When I hear spoken Thai now, my McGuire ears kick in, trying desperately to understand what the speaker is saying. And, usually, failing miserably. Sometimes, I'll be trying to understand what my colleagues are talking about at lunch (an easier task now that I'm familiar with their Thai a bit more), when someone behind me will start speaking English. "English?!?!," my confused brain asks. "Yes ENGLISH," my ears reply. And then I'm completely lost from the conversation I was trying to follow, and I now know that the farang behind me doesn't like beets. Not useful, brain, not useful.

Ok, so this guy looks angry,
but you get my point?

While I can understand quite a bit of Thai (and speak quite a bit), I am not up to the task of understanding spoken Thai between Thais. It's like trying to understand someone from Long Island speaking when you're from South Carolina... except it's not ever the same language! To top it all off, I was on a trip last weekend where my friend and I were grouped with a Russian-language tour. (First question, why are there so many Russians in Thailand? Second question, where are all the English-speakers?) So this crazy Russian man (with an Indian man mustache, see image, right) is going on and on in Russian, taking 20 minutes when our Thai guide, who speaks delightful English, said the same things in about 5 minutes. And, what do I do? Observe the scenery? No. Take a nap? No. Talk to our Thai guides? No... I try to understand the Russian-Indian-man-mustache guy... like all of a sudden, I'll understand Russian.

Ah, McGuire ears.

(Maybe this is reason number 1 in favor of returning to the USA?)

Why I might have trouble living any place else but Thailand

As I begin to ponder LAT (Life After Thailand), I'm beginning to realize that there is little to no possibility that I'll not undergo severe culture shock upon returning back to the United States or, really, any place besides Southeast Asia. Here are the reasons:

• My addiction to iced coffee/tea - so that caffeine addiction I talked about... yeah, never really went away. While I'm not yet a coffee a day person, I'm pretty darn close. And I like my coffee Thai-style, i.e., not tasting a bit like coffee. I typically get a Thai iced tea (described here) or mo-kaa yen/iced mocha, a delicious chocolaty concoction of chocolate syrup, sugar, sweetened condensed milk, and, oh yes, a bit of coffee.
• My lack of bodily temperature control, or as I like to call it, my adaptation to living in warm climates. No, I don't need to drink quite as much water as tourists, nor do I get overheated and sweaty quite as easily or quickly. But put me in an air-conditioned room and I'll start shivering. Worse yet, put me in a climate that gets below 75 Fahrenheit and watch me slowly assume the fetal position in hopes of creating a small bubble of body-heat warmed air. 



This is what I feel like (from the website "ilovetheburg")

• Removal from US political and social debates - I didn't realize how much of a plus this was until I saw on a Facebook post that an actor/drug addict/wife abuser who shall remain unnamed actually displaced news coverage of Libya on many US media platforms. I'm also pretty happy to be removed from the Planned Parenthood debacle (really? withdraw federal funding from an organization that provides basic health and reproductive public health services for underserved women because they also provide a LEGAL service to women, without federal money, that you think is immoral?), the federal budget debate (again, what other organization or individual could get away with missing a deadline for over 5 months?), and the Arizona legislature (no, the 14th Amendment doesn't apply to ALL people born in the U.S., just those who we happen to like).*
• My inability to cook - When you can get delicious Thai food, hot and steaming, from 4 to 10 different vendors, at all times of the day, for less than 2 US dollars, why would you ever cook? Plus, I don't own an oven or most of the necessary cooking tools. (I have a microwave that looks like it can become a convection oven from the picture on the front but the user manual is in Thai and I have two hot plates, a pot, two frying pans, one large chopping knife, and a spatula.) And, quite frankly, I don't really enjoy cooking, despite my love of chemistry.
• My love of non-confrontation - as anyone who's ever lived/worked/befriended me knows, I don't like confrontation. I tend to avoid it, instead using the ever helpful passive-aggressive approach to deal with issues (also not healthy, but...). I also find the deliberately-avoiding-the-bush/pretending-there-is-no-bush approach quite useful. And, so do Thai people. It's a great combo!
• My inability to read words in English - I used to have this skill. I could sound out words appropriately and effectively, even if I had never seen them before (except for "subtle," which for years I thought was pronounced "sub-til" and was a distinctly different word from the one meaning "delicate or elusive"). Now, I am very good at sounding out Thai-phonetic words, like "Phloen Chit" (plurn jid), and am horrible at sounding out English words ("Phillip" would come out "peereeb"). I'm also probably going to develop "upspeak" from trying determinedly to learn how to use tones.

So, in case you're wondering, I'm still debating my next move - which will happen sometime after Sept. 15. Next post might be reasons why I will not have trouble moving back to the U.S.

* Just in case you can't tell, I'm pretty liberal. But, I am using hyperbole. And, I believe that informative, helpful debates can actually create sustainable solutions. But, the current political situation in the US does not seem to be informative or helpful. And, I don't think it will create sustainable change. But, I'm open to you trying to convince me otherwise.